The Madness Known As Sanity
by Shattered Reality
Summary: It was just another standard peace-talk mission for Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, until something happens that forces Obi - alone in a colony formed by the former occupants of a mental ward - to question his own sanity and even reality itself.
1. Prelude

This story is a crossover between Star Wars and Philip K. Dick's novel "Clans of the Alphane Moon." But wait - you don't have to have read that book to understand this story, because I'll explain it to you right now. In fact, I suggest that you not read the book: I personally hated it because the writing style was horrible, but I'm just using the plot here because I thought that it would make for an interesting crossover. In any case, on to the summary.  
  
Alpha III M2 is one of the moons surrounding the planet Alpha. About 50 years before this fanfic, another planet - Terra - established a mental ward on Alpha III M2. However, Terra lost contact with Alpha III M2 and the patients escaped from the ward, killing the doctors there and establishing their own colony. Terra is finally trying to regain control of Alpha III M2, but so is Alpha, to whom Alpha III M2 belonged before the Terrans built the ward there.  
  
This fanfic begins when the Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi are sent to Alpha III M2 to try to prevent a triangular war between Alpha, Alpha III M2, and Terra.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The stars seemed to streak across the velvety sky outside the window, appearing to leave the ship - a small and speedy craft made more for ease of maneuvering than distance - standing still in space. Reflected in the glass were the crystelline blue eyes of the young boy sitting by the window, head propped against one hand as he twisted his tawney braid thoughtfully. "So where are we going again?" The older man standing a few yards from him turned around at his question. "A small moon called Alpha III M2." He turned abruptly back to the papers that he had been examining before, only to be questioned again: "Why?" The man bit his lip to keep from giving mouth to his exasperation. His normally calm, pleasant, and easygoing padawan had seemed to be trying to torment him all day, and his voice had now taken on a decidedly whiney tone. "Because, Obi-Wan," he said in a voice with undercurrents of the 'you're-pushing-it-kid' tone, "the Council has asked us to prevent war from breaking out there. Got it? Good. Now be quiet." "Oh. Ok."  
  
Finally. Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn sighed with relief as seventeen minutes of blessed silence passed. Funny how he'd never before noticed how nice silence re- "Master? What did you say that the planet was called again - Alfalfa Three Mem Two?" Qui-Gon recited Jedi teachings of calm and peace under his breath as he fought the urge to strangle his bothersome padawan. This was going to be a long mission. A very long mission. A very, very long mission.  
  
And he'd accidentally left the box of pre-cut gags at the Temple. How thrilling...  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Sorry about it being so short; I just wanted to set the scene. So, do you want me to continue? There will be some more humor in this, but also a lot of angst - for example, I'm considering having Obi-Wan get stuck in the colony built by the patients from the mental ward... by himself. (Yep, he'll be all alone there with various insane people. No Qui-Gon around to help him stay sane. Heheheh...) Well, I'm working on 5 other stories right now, so whichever ones seem to have the most interest will be the ones that I update. Therefore, please review and let me know if you want me to continue! Thanks. 


	2. Landing

AUTHOR: Neniae  
CONTACT: aslyinn@yahoo.com  
CURRENTLY: Listening to "The Three Sisters," an album of traditional Irish music by flute player Barry Kerr.  
  
DISCLAIMER: For God's sake, do I look like the Almighty Flanneled One or Philip K. Dick to you? No? Then don't sue.  
  
Hey! Well, as some of you may have noticed, I was working on about ten stories at once and I couldn't keep up with them all, so I asked people to let me know which ones I should continue. It looks like I'll mainly be working on this, Through My Eyes, and Tears for Innocence from now on. I'm really busy for the next two weeks because of midterm exams at school, but I'll try to update at least once a week. After midterms are over, my updates will be more frequent, because I'll be able to go back to my old habit of working on my writing for half an hour each night.  
  
Heidi M ~ Heh... yes, it will be. And I'm not even sure exactly where this will go yet.  
  
Remnants ~ I'll try to keep updating for you ^_^  
  
Crystal ~ Thanks!  
  
Midnight Corruption ~ I like the new name! I may soon have to change mine as well, for the same reason. Anyway, glad that you like it!  
  
Jedilittlebee ~ Yeah, I will! Glad you like it.  
  
Wow... I think that this is the most reviews I've ever gotten for a first chapter O_o thanks again to all of you.  
  
  
  
  
Qui-Gon Jinn was quite relieved when the co-pilot of their small Tougarian craft came back to the passenger area to warn them that they would soon be landing. The venerable Jedi master sat down but did not buckle the safety harness, expecting the smooth and flawless landing normally associated with landing pads. However, he was abruptly hurled backwards through the air to land on top of his sleeping Padawan. As he desperately attempted to pull himself out from the tangle of robes, he sent a few choice curse words in the co-pilot's direction that, if they had been uttered within a mile of the Temple, would have caused Master Yoda to flog him heartily with his cane.  
  
"I'm s-s-sorry, sir," stammered the man in question, "B-but... this moon h-has no techno-nology... we had to la-land in the fields and..." Qui-Gon finally managed to stand up and glared at the target of his anger, causing the man to cower. "You want to dissapate my anger towards you? If so, bring me a pitcher of ice water. Now."  
  
"I...ice water, sir?"  
  
"Yes. To dump over this apprentice of mine. He's out cold."  
  
An hour later, "Sleeping Beauty" had finally been awakened, courtesy of several gallons of frigid water. Obi-Wan now stood by his master's side in the middle of the field, his robes soaked through and hanging limply on him.  
  
"So, where to, Master?" The young boy looked towards Qui-Gon questioningly. He had only been a Padawan for two years, and though he acted quite calm and composed when politics demanded it of him, he was still just a rather goofy teen when only his Master or friends were around. "To the meeting hall, Obi-Wan. I hear that it is in the middle of all of the towns so that no one society may claim it."  
  
"You said before that there used to be a mental ward here, and that all of the population is from there. So is each town the property of the people with one particular disorder?"  
  
"Yes, and each town is named after a famous person in the history of Terra who had that disorder. Each town will send one representative to the meeting. Now come, Obi-Wan. We must be at the meeting hall before three more standard hours have passed."  
  
They trudged off across the field in the direction that the pilot had indicated earlier. They would pass through Ghanditown, home of the Heebs, and then reach the hall in time for the gatering of the council of Alpha III M2.  
  
  
  
  
Author's notes: Hey, sorry that this chapter was so short, but I'll be putting up another chapter tonight or tomorrow morning to make up for that. You see, I'm afraid that I may have to break the council meeting up into several chapters as it is, because it's really long... anyway, as always, review and let me know what you think! Praise, comments, and constructive criticism welcomed!  
  
What are Heebs? What are the other citizens like? What will happen at the council meeting? Find out soon! 


End file.
